As a child we all have that urge to explore . . . to climb that tree up the backyard . . . to go with dad down to the shops to pick up some 'no more gaps' and the bread and milk for mum, just because you can . . .to dig that super deep hole in the sand pit on the off chance that you may find that buried treasure everyone carries on about . . . lifting every big rock or log you can find to see if there is a weird creepy crawly you haven't seen before . . . to peek through the crack in the fence to see what lurks in the neighbours yard and stir up their dog . . .

But for many of us this itch to explore stays with you beyond childhood.

Soon enough what lies in the neighbour's yard and trips down to Bunnings just is not enough, the rest of the world is whispering out you're name, calling you to come and play. The sights, smells and experiences are out there waiting for you . . . . and for some of us lucky ones, we answer to its call.

Welcome to the blog of the Colhoun sisters, two lucky little ladies who have begun their quest for Global Domination.

Follow us to share the sights, smells and sticky situations we will encounter over the next 12 months while traveling the UK & Europe. Laugh with us, cry with us and soak up all that the world has to offer - after all, you only live once!

- Ashley & Hayley

Saturday, 7 May 2011

What the? UK television adverts are lets say . . . . a little strange

So I was on Facebook and came across a link for a new tv advert for some yummy biscuits here in the UK

Take a look  -


This would have to be the most CREEPY tv ad I have ever seen, how do they honestly think that this ad campaign will sell their biscuits?

I would purposely avoid the whole freaking supermarket if I thought two weirdo biscuit monkeys were going to drop from the roof and get all sexy with me in order to make me choose their flavour and then do some perverted celebration dance when you pick up a packet.

The way the Jammie Monkey is sitting there stroking the packets and staring blankly into her eyes just made my skin crawl. And their suggestive little voices cooing at you "Jaaaaaammmmmmie" . . . . . "Toffffeeeeee"

Now after seeing this clip it made me start to wonder . . . . . . . . are there really Jammie and Toffee Monkeys out there . . . waiting . . . . . lurking in the buiscuit isle of you're local store, ready to do their little hip gyration routine . . . . . trying to lure you into taking a packet home with you . . . . letting them into your home


"Jaaaaammmmmmmmiieee . . . Jammie Jammie, Jaammmmmmmmie"

Thats right, enjoy you're nightmares people

Sweeet Dreams

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Blimey Mate, Quick chuck me a scooner of Tooheys, fire up tha barby, whack on me thongs and jump in me ute, I'm loosin my flamin Aussie accent bloke

Holly Shiiiiit . . . . . I think Im slowly loosing my Aussie - WHAT DO I DO???

Apart from eating Vegemite by the bucket load and walking around the house in my thongs, what more can I do so far away from home?

Yesterday I managed to say "its well hot in here" and almost died at the thought of picking up on their horrible distortion of the English language, I immediately corrected myself and then shut my mouth for the rest of the day.

Now when I talk to customers they dont look at me with that "You're not from around here" expression anymore, instead I must seem normal to them, which concerns me as my Australian-ness was so obvious to them in the beginning.

Today Hayley got out all the Australian Souvenirs and "Best of Australia" posters and hung them all around our room, it looks like a bloody gift shop in here. She even went as far as attaching those clip on Koala's to all the hanging light fittings hanging from the roof . . . . .  its boarder-lining on creepy

When trying to top up on Australian normality here we always seem to find a problem that gets in the way

Cadbury Chocolate - Just not the same, rather powdery and tastes weird

A Meat Pie - pastry is different, tastes nothing like the ones at home

Choccy Milk - Tastes like UHT milk and home brand cocoa powder

Bacon - Its all smoked here, and its sliced super thin and has the texture of smoked salmon

Steak - No-one here can cook a steak properly, let alone identify a nice cut of meat, every one we have tried has been cooked badly and is super tough, give
me some Aussie beef anyday

- I am yet to find a beer that doesnt taste like horse urine here, NOT HAPPY JAN

Aioli - These weirdos look at us strange when we ask for aioli, they have no idea what it is

Tomato & BBQ Sauce - they taste nothing like our sauces, how do these people live? OMG

Please, send us some Australian care packages, we beg of you, please help us keep our Aussie, we love it dearly and dont want it to leave us.

ANZAC bikkies, Tim Tams, Tomato Sauce, we need you, we love you, please come to us.

Aussie - Over and Out

So . . FYI Home sickness SUCKS - Anyone have a private jet or a giant slingshot?

I woke up, accidentally elbowed Halz in the head as I turned over, stepped out of bed straight into some broken glass on the floor, wandered down the hallway filled with random boxes of cleaning products, napkins and straws, into the bathroom, took a look at our 'shower' and the wet carpeted floor, glanced in the mirror at my tired pale face and took a big deep breath in . . . . . another long day, for another few measly pounds. 

I felt a little flat and heavy chested . . . . what is this icky fog Im in today? . . . . . Oh SHIT . . . . . Im Homesick


sad or depressed from a longing for home  or family while awayfrom them for a long time.

Thats all I freaking need . . . .

Please someone tell me that there is some cooky nanna remedy for Homesickness, like standing on you're head whilst downing a Jager Bomb or spinning around 12 times while singing 'Backstreets back' and then jumping over a bar stool without falling over  . . . . I need a quick fix, because this horrible disease tends to come and go whenever it pleases randomly plaguing us and over staying his welcome.

Sir Richard Branson, we have all heard of you're grand plans to have regular flights into space and back for the insanely rich . . . . yes, its rather impressive, but how about SUPER fast flights from London to Sydney so you can do day trips for about $10 a pop - I think thats a much better idea, cater for the 'living of tips' demographic so we dont have to feel Homesick every second or so day.

Or alternatively I could build a giant slingshot in the paddock next door and pop home in time for dinner . . . . .

hmmmmm . . . . . I will let you know how this goes 

. . . . . If I die, please play Enya and Michael Buble at my funeral and I want only white tulips, no roses or babies breath and there better be some serious crying people, after all who will be there to entertain you daily with mindless drivel? Yeah, thats what I thought, you're crying already arent you . . . its ok, let it all out, you will feel better.

Egg Fried Rice and Mayo Farts

So living off tips alone makes for interesting meal choices at times . . . .

The other day we were in Sainsburys and we came across some discounted 'reduced to clear' egg fried rice - YUMMO

When we got home and gave it a zap in the trusty mica we soon realised that it wasn't all that YUMMO after all  . . . . . Disappointing right?


I decided to bust out with the amazing Heinz Mayonnaise (which these days, living in the land of food with no flavour or appealing texture, I seem to do alot - LOVE my mayo) and something magical and out of this world was born


- please note: the 'fart' part of this meal name originates simply from the farting noise that kept happening while we were squeezing the mayo onto our rice . . . this simple noise tended to amuse us successfully for several hours (we dont have much in terms of entertainment these days, I know, its sad)

So I am passing this discovery on to you all, take this recipe of AWESOMENESS with you and experience what your stomach has been craving in secret all this time . . . . trust me you will never be truly satisfied until you try this - It will change you're life forever


I would sell my kidney for a REAL shower with adequate pressure . . . . . Anyone interested? Bids start at $200

How is it that a country so old and developed can be so far behind when it comes to having a bloody shower that works? Honestly can someone explain this to me?

Since arriving in the UK we haven't had 1 decent, enjoyable, relaxing shower and it is driving me absolutely mental.

At the moment our 'shower' situation is quite unique to say the least.

Here in the UK they have these strange boxes that the shower head is connected to, which controls the temperature of the water, you have a dial which you turn to you're desired temperature and then you either press a button or turn another tap thing and the water comes  . . . . . . this is all well and good if the thing works . . . . . . which so far has not been the case with EVERY shower we have come across - EVERY SINGLE ONE

At all the backpackers we stayed in on our travels the shower pressure was the equivalent of a little man hanging from the roof taking a wizz on you . . . . At the staff house our shower only did one temperature - SCALDING OWIE BURNY TORTURE CHAMBER . . . . Here at the Nags the shower does the polar opposite - FREEZING BONE CHILLING SHOWER OF DEATH

Sooooooo, our lovely housemate Georgie purchased a handy little contraption which she has attached to the bath taps which has hose and a hand held shower head, so we can now control our temperature manually like the rest of the world

HOWEVER - the hose for the shower head is so short that you have to either bend over to get under the water OR sit in the bottom of the bath in order to get under the water - which drives me absolutely bonkers


This dude has the right idea
 I can only describe this frustration in one way . . .  you know when you go camping for several days and you only have that 'bag of water hanging in a tree' setup and you always feel gross and when you're on you're way home the first thing you want to do is have an hour long shower, wash you're hair and stand there under the water until you a perfectly assured that you are squeaky clean and you're fingers have turned into pruney old people fingers


When I get back to AUS, I am going to spend the first week IN THE SHOWER and its going to be amazing . . . .  I dream of this moment every night

So every time you step into you're heavenly showers and the warm pressured water flows down upon you, take a moment to think about poor Ash & Halz who are sitting in the middle of a freezing room above a pub with our arses in a bucket and a jug of luke-warm water in our little shaking hands

- Donations can be made to aid our cause at www.moneyforpoorarsesinabucket.org

Im Back Baby - Prepare to be BLOGGED

Did you miss me . . . . . I know you did

I have felt so disconnected from the world for the past 2 weeks . . . . so here I am, hooked up to the IV . . . my life force . . . my beloved internet

I have been going crazeee without my glorious blog to keep me sane (well my version of sane at least) soooooooo I have been hand writing all my planned postings and now Im going to type them all up for you're reading pleasure


So whack some popcorn in the mica, whoop out a cuppa and get comfie in you're computer chair, its time to catch up on the interesting events of our past 2 weeks.

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